January 3, 2008

You ever feel like your entire life is going down the pan?

Thats what I feel right now.
Tho Im tryin to change all that. My job is seriously making me ill. You may not have noticed because when Im not there Im a happy person and generally I seem well enough.

Im not.

Its not like Ive been lying to your faces. In the beginning I did like the job. Its just its draining me emotionally and physically.
The stupid problems I have in my head are worse than ever. Im having random panic attacks late at night. I cant sleep for anxiety.

I feel like Ive let everyone down. Like everyones gonna think less of me now. I mean, who wants a quitter?
My parents/grandparents say they dont wanna see me ill. But Im sure they really are disapointed in me. Im pretty sure Norm is very disapointed in me, despite what he says.

I hate letting people down. I need to look after myself though. I cant go on like this.
2008 is a new start. Im sure it will be a good year. At least, I hope it will.


One comment

  1. Poppet, I know you may feel your job is difficult at the moment. But maybe its not your job which is the problem? Maybe there are other problems which are adding to the job problem and making you feel worse. After all thats happened in the last three months after all….go see a doc and get your tabs changed. Stick with the job it will get easier I promise. IF you try and try and try and then fail then noone can be dissapointed in you because you did your ultimate best. See this as a new year a new start, new problems need overcoming. Get this sorted and you will feel like a million dollars!

    Were all here for you while you get yourself through this.


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