Archive for the ‘Depression’ Category



January 3, 2008

You ever feel like your entire life is going down the pan?

Thats what I feel right now.
Tho Im tryin to change all that. My job is seriously making me ill. You may not have noticed because when Im not there Im a happy person and generally I seem well enough.

Im not.

Its not like Ive been lying to your faces. In the beginning I did like the job. Its just its draining me emotionally and physically.
The stupid problems I have in my head are worse than ever. Im having random panic attacks late at night. I cant sleep for anxiety.

I feel like Ive let everyone down. Like everyones gonna think less of me now. I mean, who wants a quitter?
My parents/grandparents say they dont wanna see me ill. But Im sure they really are disapointed in me. Im pretty sure Norm is very disapointed in me, despite what he says.

I hate letting people down. I need to look after myself though. I cant go on like this.
2008 is a new start. Im sure it will be a good year. At least, I hope it will.


A letter ..

January 2, 2008

Dear NHS … 


 Dear anyone else …

Employ pls?



December 25, 2007

Why dont we rename Christmas as ‘Annual Have a Go at Liz Day’? Because thats what it always ends up being!

Today Ive been shouted at for:

-Not eating enough
-For wanting to see my friends
-For being cold
-For sitting in someones chair (who wasnt sat in it and wasnt going to be for a while!)
-For not being cheery enough
-For getting text messages

I wanted to go round to K’s to see her and Chrissy, but I was told that I shouldnt go out on Christmas because I have to spend time with my family .. yet my brother is allowed to go off and do what he wants! Brilliant!

What about the yearly ‘Your a useless lazy idiot’ speech I get off my Uncle, Mum and Nan. Because I got kicked out of school and am going nowhere in life.
Not that they support anything I wanna do to better it, such as Uni or something. If I mention that, Im not clever enough or too lazy!

Im sure no one else spends Christmas as fucked off as I do. I sometimes wonder why I get excited by it all. Because its just this every single year! And now Im getting moaned at cos Im sitting in my room. Only to get away from the constant sniping mind …