Archive for the ‘Work’ Category


Im not sure what to think anymore

January 3, 2008

So anyway, I got the hospital rang up and spoke to the Junior Sister because the actual Sister is off sick!
Anyway, she said that they dont like to lose people and that she’s gonna ring me next week to see what they can do to help me.
I dont know if I wanna go back. The quack gave me a note for 4 weeks to get my head together. So Im still getting paid n all that jazz.
I’ll see what they have to say. But if I do go back, Im going on my terms. Which means less early starts and more nights.
Im not bein funny but Im not a morning person, Im really not. So night shifts would be so much better.
I mean even if I started at 8:30am instead of 7 it would be a bonus.
And I know people do.

Now Im worried that if I do go back that people are gonna think Im some sort of insane little child who cant cope with the big wide world.
Well Im sorry Im not as worldly as everyone else seems to be, but Ive lived in Lincolnshire my entire life and Ive never lived away from home properly. What do they expect?

Oh well. We live to try another day!



January 3, 2008

You ever feel like your entire life is going down the pan?

Thats what I feel right now.
Tho Im tryin to change all that. My job is seriously making me ill. You may not have noticed because when Im not there Im a happy person and generally I seem well enough.

Im not.

Its not like Ive been lying to your faces. In the beginning I did like the job. Its just its draining me emotionally and physically.
The stupid problems I have in my head are worse than ever. Im having random panic attacks late at night. I cant sleep for anxiety.

I feel like Ive let everyone down. Like everyones gonna think less of me now. I mean, who wants a quitter?
My parents/grandparents say they dont wanna see me ill. But Im sure they really are disapointed in me. Im pretty sure Norm is very disapointed in me, despite what he says.

I hate letting people down. I need to look after myself though. I cant go on like this.
2008 is a new start. Im sure it will be a good year. At least, I hope it will.


A letter ..

January 2, 2008

Dear NHS … 


 Dear anyone else …

Employ pls?


So this sucks ..

December 20, 2007

So I went to the doctors this morning because Ive been throwing up pretty much everything Ive eaten or drunk since Monday evening. Apparently these bugs are only supposed to last 2 days, but this has been going on for 4.
And because Ive not eaten Im really weak and all I wanna do is sleep. So Ive been in bed for pretty much 4 days. And I hate it!
Luckily I have the luxury of a laptop and wireless so I can still browse the interweb and be on MSN an such, but its still sucky.
The doc told me not to eat or drink any dairy products, which is annoying cos I love a good cuppa cha! But since I cant have milk cus it makes me upchuck Ive had to resort to either black tea or black coffee. Ive been goin with black coffee cos black tea is mingy!
Im supposed to have something called Viral Gastro .. something or other. Idk, I couldnt read the doctors writing …

Which brings me to my next point. When doctors are in med school, do they have lessons on how to write really badly? Because Ive never ever seen a doctor with decent handwriting. Infact, I was talking to a doc at work the other day and she said that sometimes she cant read other doctors writing. You know its bad when other doctors can read it!

I guess the one good thing to come of this is Im at home for Christmas Day. Ive not been at home for a whole Xmas Day for like 2 years, so it’ll be nice .. maybe. If Im feeling better. Which Im sure I will be. I hope. If not, something is wrong! LoL!
Also means I can watch the Dancing Final on Saturday and watch Breakfast at Tiffanys on Friday! Something to do I guess.

And, Normski might be coming to see me on Saturday to bring me my present. So its something to look forward to. Tho I have no idea of what day it is because a) Ive been on nights and it fucks my whole system up and b) Ive been asleep quite alot so days just roll into one. I believe its Thursday. I know its 20th cus I got paid!